I heard virgin when I was ready to go abroad. My first UK mobile SIM card belongs to virgin which I bought in shanghai. Red means happiness and propitious in China. It is a hopeful colour. So my parents also choose virgin Atlantic as my first flight. I was very curious about this company by reason of such a foreign multinational firm have so many products abroad. Hence, I search this company via the internet. These inspiring virgin companies can tantalize and evoke emotions not normally associated with other organisations. In this essay, I will write some part of the virgin group and do some SWOT also PEST analysis of it.

原来是学过ILETS啊。。。难怪感觉很怪怪的。。。
开头开顺一点吧，用we seem to be living in an age of XXXXX.today,our life have change a lot ,immigration is no longer a barrier for every one.
i was ready to 听起来怪怪的 用 i was prepared for 读起来好些。
文章没多大错，感觉中文化气息强了点。Ｉ　search　？　是search for,不及物的词．
i was curious 那句我改下，太不顺了．
i was curious about the company for some reasons,say,this foreign multinational company have many products abroad.别一句接完，要顺气．不然读的累．
后面的．．．我看不懂了，不明白你的表达．．．