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问题: 麻烦帮忙看看语法,错的请帮忙改正,顺便说说原因

这是一篇写信的文章的一部分:
First,when you meet your classmates you should say hello to them sweetly.Smile can show you are friendly.
Second ,you should take part in some activity.Such as English corner,the student committee.You can pratise your communicate skill.
Thirdly,if you are shy to talk with new classmates and you want to bacome good friends,you can sak them for their e-mail or QQ.Then keep touch in holiday or have a chatting on the internet.You needn't talk with the other face to face.This is a easy way to know each other.
To find and talk to people about waht you both like.It can make you excited.

解答:

First(Firstly表示"首先"不直接用first),when you meet your classmates,(此处应该加个逗号) you should say hello to them sweetly.Smile can show show you are friendly(改为"Smile can show your friendliness",这样就不那么生硬)
Second(Secondarily 同前面的解释),you should take part in some activity(activities因为你参加的活动肯定不只一个范围的,所以用复数).Such as English corner,the student committee(and so on因为你举例,肯定不只有这两个,所以后面要加上and so on).You can pratise your communicate(communication这里应该用名词) skill.
Thirdly,if you are shy to talk with new classmates(最好改成"if you are too shy to talk with the new classmates") and(and 改为but,因为前后为转折关系) you want to bacome(become改为make) good friends(with them),you can sak(ask) them for their e-mail(emails,那么多人,不可能同用一个电邮) or QQ.Then keep touch in holiday or have a chatting on the internet(chat by the internet).You needn't talk with the other(others) face to face.This is a easy way to know each other.
To find and talk to people about waht(what) you both(all) like.It can make you excited.