Next up is the bulging pencil case. You should of course have at least 2 pencils and 6 pens. 2 black, 2 blue, 2 red. If you want to go for the novelty points then choose a purple, or green scented pen. Any attempt to make the examiner smile can’t be wrong, can it? Don’t forget your highlighter pens, one of each colour, tipex, blu tack, glue. You never know what might happen. You need a personal clock, although the space on the table is becoming relatively limited at this point, so a watch is an acceptable option.
As you turn your paper over, your mind inevitably goes blank for at least the first ten minutes and you start thinking back to the days when you had a life, in the pre-revision era. Suddenly though, fear takes over. You jab your forehead incessantly with a pen in the hope that this will encourage some sort of intelligent thought to flow from your brain to the paper via your biro. And miracles of miracles, it does. For the next three hours you write constantly, not even pausing for breath, let alone pausing to pick up a polo. In any case their destiny is to get sticky at the bottom of your bag because you stupidly opened the whole packet. But none of that matters anymore because you’re on fire. Nothing can stop you now. And three hours later you’re mentally exhausted and your arm wants to drop off. But you’ve got through it, or at least you think you have…
The post-exam ritual involves everyone saying; ‘Ok lets talk about anything other than the exam because that was absolutely awful.’, and then you all proceed to talk about nothing else but the exam for the next hour. Where you thought you’d done well, now after having listened to what everyone else put, well there’s just no way you could have passed. I wouldn’t even pass myself if I were marking it; the answers I put were so irrelevant. Quality not quantity is what we’ve always been told and I forgot that golden rule. I have an aching arm for nothing.
Now comes the wait. Why can’t examining boards devise (2) a wonderful marking system that can put you out of your misery within the next couple of days. Two months is an obscene amount of time if you ask me. Eventually the envelope arrives. A hot tip: when asked for your address you should always give your parents’ address to avoid having to rush to the door for a week around the results day and then actually having to open the dreaded envelope once it eventually arrives two days late, a sadistic delay intended so that you sweat it out some more. In any case your mum is scared enough as it is and is only too happy to pass on the good news when it arrives on her doorstep. Lo and behold the day when I fail an exam! (4)I’m touching lots of wood as I write this.
Anyway, the upshot of all the stress and anxiety is that the hard work has paid off and even though you don’t quite get the A++ that your jammy friend got, you’re ecstatic with your well-earned B+.
Though one thing I haven’t quite worked out yet is what the attraction of exams is. (3)There must be something addictive about the stress related to them. I spent last summer doing a teaching course followed by a horribly stress-inducing exam in December. Nobody forced me to do it. I actually volunteered and handed over a scary amount of money for the privilege. That’s stressful in itself! Neither have I learnt from my school exam days as I still went through the same old emotions, and the same old rituals and I’m very pleased to say it worked. Although I’m still convinced that it’s not so much what I wrote in my exam that did it but how I wrote it. The infallible mint-scented biro strikes again!
Do you have any 'tricks' for before, during or after exams?Do you think that examinations are the best way of evaluating a student's progress? Do you know any funny or interesting stories or anecdotes related to exams?

下一步就是鼓鼓囊囊的铅笔盒。当然你得准备至少两支铅笔和6支钢笔。2支黑色，2支蓝色，2支红色。如果你想标新立异就选紫色，或者绿色香味笔。任何使考官高兴的做法都不会错，对吧？不要忘了你的记号笔，每种颜色一支，tipex牌的，粗头，还有胶水。你绝对不会知道会发生什么事情。你还需要一个闹钟，尽管在这种情况下桌面可能会很紧张，但手表也是考虑的选择。

等你拿到卷子，你在前10分钟大脑里必然一片空白，并开始回想复习备考前的那段时光，那时你有自己的生活。尽管如此，恐惧还是突如其来。你不停地用笔戳着前额，仿佛这样就能从大脑中汲取一些灵感，让它顺着圆珠笔流淌到卷面上似的。这一招还真管用，奇迹中的奇迹出现了。接下来的三个小时你不歇气地写着，只是偶尔拿起一支棒糖。因为你愚蠢地打开了一整包棒糖，所以每一次它们都会粘在你的书包底上。但也管不了那么多了，已经火烧眉毛了，现在什么都阻止不了你。过了三个小时，你已精疲力尽，胳膊就象要断了一样。可是你成功地闯过来了，至少你自认为你闯过来了……

考后司空见惯的场景是：每个人都在说“我们谈点别的吧，就是别谈考试，那太恶心了”，接下来的一小时你们所有人别的什么都不谈，只是谈论考试。你觉得自己考得不错，等听完大家说的话，这下好了，根本没有过关的可能。我填的答案连我自己这一关都过不了，它们是那样不着边际。重质不重量是我们耳熟能详的金科玉律，我把这一条给忘了。写得胳膊发痛却一无所获。

现在是等待的时候了。不知道考试委员会为什么不能发明一套好的记分系统，以使你在考后几天内就可以解脱烦恼。在我看来，两个月的时间简直长得要命。最后终于来信了。热心提示：在填地址时一定要填你父母的地址，这样省得你在快要发表成绩的那个星期天天到门口查信，结果最后看到这封可怕的信时，它还是耽搁了两天。要知道这多耽搁的两天可是受虐的两天哦，能让你惊出一身冷汗。你的妈妈也总是担惊受怕，只有当捷报送到她的门口时才会转忧为喜。回头想想我考试不及格的那些日子吧！我在写这个之前也是磕磕绊绊地过来的。

不管怎样，压力和焦虑都过去了，这是你下苦功的回报。尽管你没有象你的铁哥们那样得到A++ ，只得了个来之不易的B+，这也足够让你欣喜若狂了。

尽管我至今还不大清楚，考试这东西究竟有什么吸引力，但考试带来的那种压力，一定有一种令人上瘾的成分在里边。去年夏天，我报了一个训练课程，接下来在十二月时参加了一次紧张至极的考试。谁也没强迫我做这一切，是我自愿的，交了数目惊人的一笔钱来换取这种特殊享受。好紧张刺激的一个过程！我在学校的考场上都没有体验过。昔日的感受又重新来过，昔日的一套故技重演，令我高兴的是，这一套仍然管用。我仍然相信：能够通过，不是因为我写的答案正确，是我写答案的方式正确。那支永无谬误的薄荷香味圆珠笔又一次“显灵”了！

你也有这种用在考前、考中和考后的“法术”吗？你认为考试是衡量学生成绩的最好方式吗？你知道和考试有关的有趣故事和佚闻吗？