Topic: people will work hard if we pay them more
Nowadays, there are some employers may be in a quandary of whether they should increase the salaries of the employees who work hard. On one hand, they consider the increase in salary as stimulation to encourage the employees to work hard; on the other hand, they are afraid that the awarded employees may become complacent and do not work hard any more. Different people have different views on this issue. Some support it while some object to it. In my opinion, most people will work hard if we pay them more. Giving a raise to them should be an effective way to encourage them. In this way, employers will gain more diligent employees and will gain more profit. There are three reasons to prove this point.
On one hand, most people work for earning a high salary in order to make a living and raise family. The saying “More money we have, more happily we live” seems to be the philosophy of modern employees. Although the saying goes a little extreme, it is indeed true to the majority. If the employees know the fact that they will be paid more as long as they work hard, money is stimulation to encourage them to be diligent. They will try to work harder and harder in order to approach the aim of increasing their salaries. In this way, the employers can promote the working enthusiasm and zeal of the employees. Thus, the company or the organization could gain a bigger profit. In addition, the extra profit that the organizations or companies gained is much bigger than the money of the raise paid for the diligent employees. Why not the employers regard raise as an investment?
Some people may argue that after the employees’ salaries are increased, they will be complacent and do not work hard any more. Admittedly, there are some employees who may lose enterprising after being awarded. But most of them will attempt to be more strenuous. It means they will work harder continually so as to get more than the raises they have got. Even though there are some employees who do not have enterprising any longer, the employers could adopt another method of reducing their salaries in order to warn them. As mentioned above, most people work for money to make a living. Hence, reducing their salaries means they have less money. To a certain extend, in modern society, less money means lower quality of life. As long as they know that the degree of diligence in working is relevant to the quantum of salary, they are prone to work harder.
In addition, paying the employees more money means giving them recognition of their work. One Chinese saying goes: Intellectuals devote themselves to the people who really know their ability. They will work hard for the feeling of gaining the recognition and they know the bosses regard them as essential assistants. Therefore, they will work hard to respond the bosses for the feeling of recognition.
Money is stimulation for the employees who earn money for living. By the attraction and encouragement of increasing salary, people will be diligent. Moreover, the raise is the equivalent of giving them recognition which inspirits them to be more diligent. Hence, people will work hard if we pay them more.
这篇作文可以得多少分？？（满分25分）

随便看了一下，基础还不错，不过Chinglish的成分比较多，主要的列出来：

there are some employers may be in a quandary of whether they should increase the salaries of the employees who work hard ->病句，看不懂，无从修改。

increase in salary ->increase of salary

Giving a raise to them should be -> could be

employers will gain more diligent employees and will gain more profit ->前面一个gain用得不恰当。用have好一点。

work for earning -> work to earn

raise family -> support their families

goes a little extreme -> a bit too far

stimulation -> incentive

approach the aim of increasing their salaries - get a higher salary

promote the working enthusiasm and zeal of the employees -> enhance their enthusiasm for work

money of the raise paid -> increased salaries paid

.....

后面还有许多，估计严格要求的话这篇得重写。先改到这儿，如果我给分，恕我直言，最多10分。