没理由是凭空“作”出来的吧...

早期日耳曼人西支部落（盎格鲁族、撒克逊族、朱特族和弗里西族）移民到英格兰，英语就是从他们的语言中变化继承下来。据《盎格鲁撒克逊编年史》记载，公元449年左右，不列颠群岛国王伏提庚（Vortigern）邀请“盎格鲁亲戚们”来帮助他对抗皮克特人，於是他赐予盎格鲁族东南部的领土作为回报。随後他又进一步寻求支援，撒克逊族、盎格鲁族与朱特族人便纷纷前来。《编年史》记载，最终这些“移民”建立了七个王国：诺森伯利亚、麦西亚、东盎格利亚、肯特、埃塞克斯、苏塞克斯、威塞克斯。

日尔曼人入侵後，统治了当地的凯尔特语民族，本地语言主要於苏格兰、威尔士、康瓦耳与爱尔兰島存活了下来。这些入侵者的语言逐渐形成了“古英语”，与近代弗里西语极为相像。English（英格兰人、英语）、England（英格兰）和East Anglia（东盎格利亚）这三个词是分别从描绘盎格鲁族的词汇發展而来：Englisc、 Angelcynn、Englaland。

公元九世纪，斯堪的纳维亚人大规模侵入英国北部。九世纪末，入侵者几乎占领了整个英国的东半部。斯堪的纳维亚人说的是北日尔曼语。北日尔曼语和西日尔曼语的差别不是很悬殊。斯堪的纳维亚人入侵的结果使大量斯堪的纳维亚语（以古诺斯语 Old Norse 为代表）的词汇进入了古英语的词汇。古诺斯语和古英语有很多同义词汇，结果古诺斯语词在英语词汇里往往取古英语词而代之。

1066年诺曼征服後三百年内，英格兰的国王只讲法语。因此一大批法语词汇进入了古英语，古英语本身也失去了大部分曲折变化，形成中古英语。1500年左右的元音大推移将中古英语变形为近代英语。古英语最著名的文学作品是《贝奥武夫》，中古英语则是《坎特伯里故事集》。

近代英语在莎士比亚所处的時期開始繁榮，一些學者將之分為早期近代英語與後期近代英語，分界線為1800年左右。隨著不列顛對全世界大部分地區的佔領和殖民，當地語言也很大程度上影響了英語的發展。

还有文言文版 -_-;;
昔法日耳曼人盎格魯、撒克遜、朱特與弗里西諸族遷英格蘭，其語承襲變遷，乃成英語。據《盎格魯撒克遜編年史》載，西元四四九年，不列顛王伏提庚（Vortigern）求盎格魯諸親族共禦皮克特人，割地以報。後撒克遜、盎格魯與朱特族人紛至，立七國，名諾森伯利亞、麥西亞、東盎格利亞、肯特、埃塞克斯、蘇塞克斯、威塞克斯。

日耳曼人既入，役凱爾特語民族，土語遂存于蘇格蘭等諸日耳曼未達之土。爾後諸語混雜，則「古英語」肇興，仿佛弗里西語。

洎西元九世紀，斯堪的納維亞人犯英北境。已而佔東北。其操北日耳曼語，有類西日耳曼語，詞彙融於英語。

後，法王入主英國，專操法語。嗣後，英詞借自法語者蕃。其語日易，曲變無復焉，是為中古英語。及至一千五百年，元音始大推移，發音大異往昔，漸趨近世英語也。

Taken directly from Wikipedia:


English is a West Germanic language that originated from the Anglo-Frisian and Lower Saxon dialects brought to Britain by Germanic settlers and Roman auxiliary troops from various parts of what is now northwest Germany and the Northern Netherlands[citation needed]. One of these German tribes were the Angles[10], who may have come from Angeln, and Bede wrote that their whole nation came to Britain [11], leaving their former land empty. The names 'England' (or 'Aenglaland') and English are derived from from the name of this tribe.
The Anglo Saxons began invading around 449 AD from the regions of Denmark and Jutland[12][13]. Before the Anglo-Saxons arrived in England the native population spoke Brythonic, a Celtic language. [14]. Although the most significant changes in dialect occurred after the Norman invasion of 1066, the language retained its name and the pre-Norman invasion dialect is now known as Old English[15].

Initially, Old English was a diverse group of dialects, reflecting the varied origins of the Anglo-Saxon Kingdoms of Great Britain[citation needed]. One of these dialects, Late West Saxon, eventually came to dominate. The original Old English language was then influenced by two waves of invasion. The first was by language speakers of the Scandinavian branch of the Germanic family; they conquered and colonized parts of the British Isles in the 8th and 9th centuries. The second was the Normans in the 11th century, who spoke Old Norman and ultimately developed an English variety of this called Anglo-Norman. These two invasions caused English to become "mixed" to some degree (though it was never a truly mixed language in the strict linguistic sense of the word; mixed languages arise from the cohabitation of speakers of different languages, who develop a hybrid tongue for basic communication).

Cohabitation with the Scandinavians resulted in a significant grammatical simplification and lexical supplementation of the Anglo-Frisian core of English; the later Norman occupation led to the grafting onto that Germanic core of a more elaborate layer of words from the Italic branch of the European languages. This Norman influence entered English largely through the courts and government. Thus, English developed into a "borrowing" language of great flexibility and with a huge vocabulary.

The emergence and spread of the British Empire and the emergence of the United States as a superpower helped to spread the English language around the world.