Pets make good company
According to a latest survey, children raised with pets show many benefits.For one thing,children are not always feeling lonely any more they are likely to share their with others feelings.When communicating they can develop their abilities of communication.
Thanks to pet are always tinny and week the children have to take good care of them,which help children to learn how to love other people. Besides,it is do good to the children hace more confidence. What’s more,with pets lovely and frisky,it is a good company for the children’s spiritual development.
It’s certain that pets play an important role in the children raised with pets.Raising a pet is a choice advisable.
请各位大虾帮忙。

a latest自我矛盾。latest只有一个。改成the latest(不建议) OR a recent

benefits改成advantages. benefit是对于他人有利

anymore 是一个词。后面要加句号，或加and.

share their feelings with others OR share with others their feelings. 后一个不建议。

when communicating with their pets 要说明对象,不然这是句废话。
communication abilities比abilities of communication简练。

thanks to改成since. thanks to在这里用的很费解。

always改成mostly，或干脆most pets更简练

weak拼错了

which help them就可以了。前边用过children在来一变重复。

how to love others 不要people更好

another good thing is that pets give the children more confidence. besides打头偏向口语。这是新的一段，所以要重新说明主语，不能只用个it。
这一句缺乏论证，建议加上一点说明。

also, with pets being lovely and frisky, they are good companies...
whats more也是偏向口语。要注意单复数一致。with pets lovely...缺少动词。

it's certain that 改成certainly

raised with pet不需要，因为前提就是有pet.
pet 不能在children中play role。实际应该是children raised这个过程中play role.
改成...pets play an important role in children's growth。

an advisable choice. 形容的词尽量放在被形容的词前面。
更简练的就是只要raising a pet is advisable.