Worse, the pack had failed to come together as I had hoped. Makuyi, the adult female, had developed cataracts and never bonded with the other wolves. Though we restored her vision with surgery, the ordeal broke her trust and we were forced to return her to the rescue center from which she had come. Akai, the adult male, had never taken to his role as pack leader and instead had become aggressive and dangerous. He too was sent back to a rescue center. Then, just that summer, one of my favorite wolves, Motaki, a young female, had been killed by a wild cougar. Her death brought a sadness to the pack, the crew and myself. Hiking through the wolves' territory, I sought solace from these setbacks in the autumn beauty of the mountains. Around me, aspen leaves twirled bright yellow. Far above, an eagle soared. I was hoping I'd come across the pack and be able to observe them for a while. I had no intention of filming or photographing them that day. I just wanted to be with the wolves and think about where the project was going.

更糟的是，这群狼不像我希望的那样走到一起。成年母狼Makuyi（狼的名字，下同）得了白内障，从不与其他狼为伍。虽然我们通过手术恢复了她的视力，但痛苦的经历摧毁了她的信任感，我们只得将她送回她当初所在的救助中心。成年公狼Akai，从来没有发挥他首领的作用，反而兽性大发，充满危险，也被送回了救助中心。之后，就在那个夏天，我最喜欢的雌性幼狼Motaki，被一头野生美洲豹咬死。她的死使狼群、工作人员和我自己都感到悲哀。在狼的领地漫步，置身山中美丽的秋景，我试图从挫折中走出来。白杨树叶转成金黄，苍鹰在高空盘旋。我希望能碰到狼群并观察一会儿。那天，我没有了拍摄他们的欲望。只想和狼呆在一起，想想下一步如何进行。