Along with economic development ,money is frequently referred to. In today’s class meeting ,students had a heated discussion about money.
Some student hold the view that the money is the source of happiness. And it can provide with colorful dressing ,modern car as well as comfortable life .what’s more ,some believes that rights,friends and love can also be exchanged by money. Moreover ,to get more money ,some people turned to a thief or robber even a murderer.what’s worse , as a result of the money some officials failed to do their duty,which have bad effect on the country. Therefore,others argued that money is the source of the evil,we should keep a distance with money.
From my point of view ,money is only the way of exchange. Every coin has two sides,Whether it is good or bad is depend on how we make use of it.

谢谢~~不胜感激~
麻烦再评价下高考中像这个样子的大概能给多少分?

Along with economic development ,money is frequently referred to.(mentioned) In today’s class meeting ,students had a heated discussion about money.
Some student(students) hold the view that the money is the source of happiness. And it can provide with(bring about) colorful dressing ,modern car(cars) as well as comfortable life .what’s more ,some believes (believe)that rights,(right) friends and love can also be exchanged by money. Moreover ,to get more money ,some people turned(turn) to a thief or robber(theives or robbers) even a murderer(murderers).what’s worse , as a result of the money （of seeking money,）some officials failed to do their duty,which have(has . which 引导的定语从句要看成单数) bad effect on the country. Therefore,others argued that money is the source of the evil,we should keep a distance with money.
From my point of view ,money is only the way of exchange. Every coin has two sides,Whether it is good or bad is depend （去掉 is . depends on) how we make use of it.

大概就是这些。（）内是修改部分。还有些解释。 如果有不明之处。请发消息我们一起讨论。