问题: 评估下雅思作文能拿几分?能提供修改意见可加分
题目是:Increasing the price of fuel is the best way to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree?
An issue that has aroused extensive debate today is whether increasing the price of fuel is the best way to solve environmental problems. In my essay, I will examine two main opinions pften heard in this controversy and then present my own view.
It seems some people tend to believe increasing the price of fuel is the best way to solve environmental problem. The most important reason fo their belif is increasing the price of fuel will decrease the consuming of fuel. It is evident that some people will choose other energy source if increasing the price of fuel; therefore, the air pollution will reduce. In addition, another argument would be made by them is goverment can get more tax revenue to solve the environmental problem. Generally speaking, most of us would concede that govermnet do not have enough money to invest in environmental problem.
On other hand, it is clear some people are of the opinion increaseing the price of fuel is not the best way to solve environmental problem. Indeed, even though the goverment get more tax revenue from increasing the price of fuel, they may not invest more money in this area. It is obviously that many country's tax revenue increased every year, but they have not invest more money in environmental problem. Moreover, there is nothing can substitute the fuel today. Therefore, whatever the price of fuel is, people would not decrease the amout of using fuel - that is to say it is nothing help to solve the envrionmental problem. Last but not least, it will increase the cost of production. Therefore, the company will fire some employee to decreas the cost of production.
Speaking for myself, with regard to this issue. I tend to be in favor of the latter view. Also I would argue it would be wise for people to find other way to solve the environmental problem.
解答:
建议。第一段。都是用了很滥用的套路。近年来。。。热点。在我给出我的观点之前我试图从两方面来论述之类的。(废话。没有信息量)
第2-3段出了滥用没有含金量的低级俗气的套句外,还有非常多的语法错误。逻辑很混乱。(请别生气,我就是说我的个人看法)
举例说明‘It is evident that some people will choose other energy source if increasing the price of fuel; therefore, the air pollution will reduce.
if引导的句子是从句。而从句必须有主谓宾。可是你看看你的if 后面有句子吗?if increasing the price of fuel;
再者,the air pollution will reduce.
这里必须用被动语态。air pollution will be reduced. 因为是 cars or people will reduce air pollution. 反过来就是被动了。想要高分快看看我空间 QQ 104 709 2641 看看我空间日志还有照片。
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