To improve relationship with others, you need to be aware of several sensible ways to complain. To start with, you need to be specific. Don’t say, “Boy, did you act like a fool at the party?” Instead, say, “You embarrassed me by getting drunk and telling offensive jokes to my parents.” Secondly, stick to the present. Don’t mention old offences from last month or last year. By doing this, you take away attention from the problem at hand. Moreover, when you complain, never add insults. If you start calling the other person names, that will only create anger and hurt any chance of getting the person to really listen to you. A last point to remember is to complain privately. Never criticize the other person in front of friends, parents, children, or anyone else for that matter. Criticizing in front of a third party has the same effect as insults. This shames the person being criticized and makes it very likely that the person will want to attack you orally rather than listen to you.
Remember sensible ways to complain yet?
Be specific.
Stick to the present.
Don’t add insults.
Complain privately.

为了改善和他人的关系，你需要意识到几个敏感的抱怨的方式。首先，你需要说出具体事情。不要说：“你在晚会上表现得就像个蠢蛋”。而要说“因为你喝醉酒对我的父母说的一些唐突的话使我很尴尬。”其次，就事论事。不要把上个月或去年的陈芝麻烂谷子的事都搬出来。这样做你就不在乎身边的问题了。此外当你抱怨时不要侮辱他。如果你喊叫另一个人的名字，那只会造成愤怒和伤害而不是任何能让这个人真正听你的机会。最后一个要记住的重点是在私下抱怨。永远不要因为那件事情而在朋友、父母、孩子、或者任何人面前批评他人。在第三方的面前批评具有和侮辱同样的影响。这种被批评的人的羞愧将很可能让这个人想要责难你而不是倾听你。
记住这些敏感的抱怨方式了吗？
要具体。
要就事论事。
不要侮辱。
只在私下抱怨。