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问题: 高考短文写作,改一下,谢谢!

第二节 书面表达 (满分25分)
近年来,随着手机的普及,短信服务也越来越多。但是,它的缺点也很明显。请你根据以下表格的内容,以“Is SMS a Blessing?”为题,写一篇120词左右的文章。
提示:1. 你可以根据提示适当拓宽,但不能直接翻译。
2. 文章的开头已经写好,不计入总数。
参考词汇:
1. 短信服务short message service (SMS)
2. 分散distract
Is SMS a Blessing?
With the development of mobile phones, the short message service is …
Used in more and more fileds.For example,we can keep touch with families and friends easily with low chargement.What’more,it can’t disturbe your families or friends like thelephone.and there are also many othe serves for SMS,such as weather,traveling.However,as one coin has tow sides,SMS may filled with amount of ads and distract our atendtion to studing or working.In all,I think it’s convenient for us to use SMS if we know how to use it in a correct way.

解答:

With the development of mobile phones, the short message service is Used(used) in more and more fileds(fields).For example,we can keep (in)touch with families and friends easily with low chargement(charge/fee).What’more, (it can’t disturbe your families or friends like the phone(s)句意不清).and (And) there are also many othe serves(services) for SMS,such as weather (reports),traveling(information).However,as one coin has tow(two) sides,SMS may (be)filled with amount of ads and distract our atendtion(attention) to stud(y)ing or working.In all,I think it’s convenient for us to use SMS if we know how to use it in a correct way.
整体来讲还是不错的,文章思路清晰,论据充足。就是语言的准确性上还要多下功夫。