呵呵,昨天上课刚说在网上找不到您就看到有您答复了,不过自己的提问时间长了,问题就取消了...再发一次吧,但愿芳老师不会厌烦~假期不能尽情领略芳老师的精彩演绎真是遗憾.您说会有一节课的,别失约噢~BTW芳老师的敬业态度很让人感动!Je t' aime!
习作:
时间 2004年8月28日第28届奥运会
成绩 110米栏冠军，击败欧，美，非洲著名对手，第一个冲过终点线，12秒91，打破奥运会12秒94的记录
成长历程 儿时被父母送入体校，被孙海平教练发现
品质 孝敬父母，每次回家带礼物，对邻居友善
意义及未来打算 被称为民族英雄，为中国人和亚洲人争光，今后更加努力，争取更大成绩
As might haven’t been expected that Liuxiang, an Asian athletes, beat all the opponents at home and abroad, won the gold medal of 110m hurdles in the 28th Olympics. What calls for special attention is that not merely did he win the champion. But he also broke the Olympic record with the time of 12’91’’.
He was born in 1983 and grew up in a worker’s family of Shanghai. He was sent to the Children’s sports school by his parents in his childhood. What with he showed great talent. Thus he was found by the coach Sunhaiping. That means Liuxiang had a possibility to increase his skill. Moreover, he had a real thirst for being a champion and that is the first step to attend this end.
Generally recognized successful athletes as he is. It must be emphasized that he is amiable and easy to approach. He strengthened his ties with his parents and neighbors by bring gifts for them.
His gait is always full of vitality, because behind his strong body is a strong will of our nation. He had never hesitated in trying for our country even Asian and prove himself worthy of the name of “the hero of the nation”.
Such is Liuxiang, a hero with shiny today and bright future!

王溪

Thanks 4 ur help:)

因为不能用有颜色的笔迹进行修改，请你对照自己的文章看一下。
As might haven’t been expected,Liuxiang, an Asian athletes, beat all the opponents at home and abroad, won the gold medal of 110m hurdles in the 28th Olympics. What calls for special attention is that not merely did he win the champion. But he also broke the
Olympic record with the time of 12’91’’. He was born in 1983 and grew up in a worker’s family of Shanghai. He was sent to the Children’s sports school by his parents in his childhood. What with he showed great talent.(上句不太明白，建议改成：，where he showed great talent) Thus he was found by the coach Sunhaiping. That means Liuxiang had a possibility to increase his skill(With his help, Liuxiang's skills have greatly improved). Moreover, he had a real thirst for being a champion and that is the first step to attend this end. Generally recognized (去掉前两个词)Successful athletes as he is，he is amiable and easy to approach(to approach改成-going). He strengthened his ties with his parents and neighbors by bring gifts for them.(上句有点chinglish建议改成：He care for his parents and neighbors a lot. Once in a while, he will buy them gifts) His gait is always full of vitality, because behind his strong body is a strong will of our nation. He had never hesitated in trying for our country even Asian and prove himself worth of the title(已改)“the hero of the nation”. Such is Liuxiang, a hero with shiny today and （改成with）bright future! 王溪 Thanks 4 ur help:)