I stared out of the window,remembering how I grew up. I did everything carefully in the hope of hearing a word of praise from her,but only got rules and expectations I could never live up to. I remembered the years she made me get up at six every morning to cook breakfast for the family before leaving for school. I remembered the parties,dances,and after-school sports I missed because she didn't approve of them. Most of all,I remembered the times she'd compared me to other girls of my age an found me lacking.

My mother,sitting in a chair by the fireplace,looked down at her sewing and said,"Nothing was ever good enough for my mother. I was glad to leave her when I married our father. Well,it's too late to tell her now,and she wouldn't understand anyway. And I know she did love me,even if she never said so. if she didn't,she wouldn't have cared whether I did the housework correctly or not."

I was too shocked to speak. My mother had never started a serious conversation with me. it was always lectures about my attitude,clothes,and hairstyle;about how I'd have to control my anger in order to be a good wife.

Through generations of disease and war,women had taught their daughters what they needed to know in order to survive:how to cook,clean;how to be productive,respectful,and patient. But as a teenager,I found it hard to take these lessons as evidence of love.

我凝视窗外，想起我如何长大。我小心翼翼地做每件事情，希望能够听到她的一句赞扬的话语，然而我所得到的是我从来都实现不了的规则和期望。我记起那些年来她让我每天六点起床，在我上学以前给全家做早饭的情景，我记起了那些晚会，舞会，因为她不同意，我所错过的课后活动，我尤其想起了多少次她总将我与其他的同龄女孩比较，来发现我的不足。

我的母亲，坐在壁炉边的椅子上，低头看着她得缝制的东西，跟我说：“对我母亲来说，没有什么好的东西，当我与你们的父亲结婚，我很高兴离开我母亲。然而，现在告诉她太晚了，而且她不会理解的。即使她从来没有说过，我知道她真的很爱我。如果她不爱我，她就不会介意我是否正确做家务活。

我十分震惊，一句话也说不出来。我母亲从来没有与我认认真真谈过话。总是针对我的态度、服饰、发型以及我如何控制我的脾气以便我能够成为一个好妻子给我上课。

通过一代代的疾病、战争，妇女教导她们的女儿，为了生存，她们需要知道些什么：如何烧饭、如何做清洁、如何做活快，如何尊敬别人和有耐心。然而作为一个十几岁的孩子，我发现很难能够将这些生活经验作为一个爱的标记联系起来。