OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime





SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.



GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.







HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.



LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.



PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.







DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.





SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.





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办公室算术

Smart上司+聪明的雇员=赢利

Smart上司+沉默寡言的雇员=生产

Dumb上司+聪明的雇员=促进

Dumb上司+沉默寡言的雇员=超时





SHOPPING算术

A人将支付$2他需要的$1项目。

A妇女将支付$1她不需要的$2项目。



GENERAL等式&统计

A妇女担心未来，直到她得到丈夫。

A人从未担心未来，直到他得到妻子。

A成功的人是一个谁比他的妻子能花费挣更多金钱。

A成功的妇女是一个谁可能找到这样一个人。







HAPPINESS

To对一个人满意，您必须明白他很多和爱他有点。

To对妇女满意，您必须爱她很多和不设法明白她。



LONGEVITY

Married人活更长比唯一人，但是已婚人更大量愿意死。


改变的PROPENSITY

A妇女与一个人结婚期望他将改变，但是他不。

A人与期待的一名妇女结婚她不会改变，并且她。







DISCUSSION技术

A妇女有最后词在所有论据。
一个人以后说是一个新的论据的起点的Anything。





SEND这对聪明的妇女世界卫生组织需要笑，并且对您认识的聪明的人能处理它。





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