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问题: kept myself in hand.

There's something common, vulgar, in flirting with one's governess. But what a governess!" (He vividly recalled the roguish black eyes of Mlle. Roland and her smile.) "But after all, while she was in the house, I kept myself in hand. And the worst of it all is that she's already...it seems as if ill-luck would have it so! Oh, oh! But what, what is to be done?"
请问kept myself in hand与ill-luck would have it so!怎么理解?

解答:

kept myself in hand 在这里有还没失去控制的意思.
ill-luck would have it so 的意思是"这是坏运气造就的结果".